he make me smile

he is someone that i just met. The one thing i like about him is that he treat me like i'm a woman. i mean, he's very polite, and most important, he respect me. well, i may say that i have a different taste regarding to relationship. like me n my bf, i love him just becoz he never pretend infront of me. the truth is, my bf never pretend to be someone he's not just to attract my attention. i see people with my heart. oh yea, i always have my first impression on people. either its bad or good, usually in time, it will change. my bf, he is a chinese, and race never was the issue. he accept me d way i am. that is what i like about him. i like d way he ordered the food, the way he's driving d car, d way he smile and look at me. one thing, i really hate guys that just want to have relationship with me, and refuse "just to be friends" with me. i dun like guys that just say i'm ok, my idea is great, etc etc.. i like guys that can talk with me. hmm..more to discuss with me. i love something new. for me, if the guy just accept, its sooooo boring.

so, tomorrow is monday. need to see patient on wednesday... so, ok.. enough blogging. need to study now. :)

life has been good... :)

life now okok la. for me, i'm satiesfied with what i have now. enough money, enough everything, but poor health... :( biase la, student.... few weeks ni mmg keje keras mase attahments kat klinik and hospital... i'm very lucky coz dpt tmpt yg org2nye sume baik2 n helpful. so, mmg byk learn la..

so, am i already prepared to be a pharmacist?
-NO

there're so much things i want to learn, in which i just buat x taw je b4 dis...now dah nyesal.. but actually, i still can catch up... this semester almost at the end, next semester is my final semester, before i graduate.. please, please, let the time pass slowly... i want to learn more, love more, and appreciate more... 4 years.. time passby very quickly..

last week gi jumpa patient yg ade kanser... kesian sgt... lemah je, nmpak sgt tgh tahan sakit... each time nk administer chemo drugs, mcm ble tgk, yg dorang sgt2 harap dpt cpt sembuh, but at d same time, x sanggup nk terima ubat tu, sbb terlalu sakit... hope ble aku jd pharmacist nnt, aku nk elakkan sume extravasation event done by doctors. make sure dorang xde la suke2 bagi je,..

next week nk clerk case utk pt yg amek ubat yg senang dpt toxic level, or jenis2 ubat yg x mcm ubat biase.. usually ubat2 ni, dose berbeza utk stiap org... at d same time ade byk presentation... then kene siapkan research in 2 weeks time. tak raye la aku thn ni... name pon raye korban, so, aku pon koban jgk... korban nk celebrate n gi holiday demi researcch..... wuwuwu :'(

forget about those sad sad things

just forget.

i don't care about it.

remember when the last time i care? i cried and depressed.

so, just smile. its just something in ur mind.

let it go..

hati oh hati...

ntah nape,  rase agak down ari ni... terlalu byk keje nak buat, smpai xdpt nak blik... last week, jatuh skit.. tp skit2 pon, aku gagah jumpa patient kat hosp kjg. anemia spj mggu lps. sel drh merah mmg sgt kurang... tp still aku kuatkan diri pegi clerk case n jmpa patient. eventho, mase tu, aku sakit pale, badah dh peluh2, hati brdebar2... dehydrated.. tp, at least aku xde la pengsan hanye sbb x amek brakfast kan.. smpai sume org risau.

mcm2 yg nak luahkan arini... nak kata depan2, tp xde kekuatan.. rasenye, kalo diam diri lbih baik... nnt masa akan brlalu jgk.. nnt aku akan lupa jgk... nnt aku x kisah jgk... kdg2 aku rse diri ni xpnah sempura kat mata die.. kdg2 aku rase, walau sebyk mane aku cuba, ttp aku ni biase2 aje.. walau aku buat lbih byk, tp org xnmpak.. walau aku cuba yg terbaik, ttp org x pandang. tapi aku x kisah sgt la, sbb aku tau, aku buat lebih byk dan lebih baik dr org tu.. even lecturer x nmpak, xpe.. aku xde la nak attention sgt drpd lecturer tu.. just aku kecik ati, nape org2 xpnah hargai ape yg kte wat.. cuba kalo dorang buat, n org lain x hargai, tau pulak melenting, ungkit sane sini.. xpe la... org2 mcm tu, xkan pnah faham perasaan org yg kene tindas.

aku cuba yg terbaik utk diri sendiri. oh ye, exam lepas, aku dpt smua A. ade 2 subjek je ok.. xde la ape sgt.. tp aku agak happy la.. sbb aku brjaya buktikan pd diri sendiri yg aku pun bleh je score. and aku brjaya buktikan yg aku xmcm dulu.

keciknye hati ni...
if u dun feel like being appreciated, u can just go.

lukanya  hati ni...
fine, lets go.. we do what you want to do.

mengalir air mata ni...
thanxs for helping me just now. :)
-> for few years i helped u, u never say thank u to me.

u dun deserve for a respect. its time for me to teach u a lesson. its ok if i won't be someone u happy with, or u like, coz yea,... i'm too tired, we're just too different. in fact, i dont know why i'm still dat strong to keep u. still there to help u. still there to take care of u. Gosh, i'm so stupid.

buat hal sendiri aje

hope dpt la update blog lagi pasni... ak plan nak 'pegi jauh' n come back to reality. sbbkan aku trlalu takut n amek langkah brjaga2, hati aku trlalu risau n ak rse x best sgt... yea. i gv up. i gv up not bcoz i'm weak, but i gv up boz i know i'm strong enough to face the reality of life. to my b, one thing dat i promise u, as long as u're with me, i'll always stand by ur side. susah senang, kite lalui same2. i'll love u no matter what; coz i know, when u came into my life, i can feel dat i am falling in love for the first time. i hv my own definition of love. and its all bcoz of u.

mcm2 yg ak nk tulis utk post ni, tp xtau nk mulakan mcm mane. harap2 quotes ni boleh la luahkan smuanya.. :)

- the purpose of life is not being perfect, impressing people or succeeding at everything. Its just that life is simply making mistakes and learn from it, surround urself with the people u love when u're being urself, and get thru failure so that u can continue improving.

- I'd rather hv an enemy who say they hate me, than to keep a ''friend'' whose wisdom is to put me down secretly

-beauty gets attention, but personality captures the heart

-trust the one who can see these 3 things in u : sorrow behind ur smile, love behind ur anger n reason behind ur silence

-people who make fun of others usually cannot think of a single good thing about themselves.

-its just sucks when u know u did the best u could, but it still wasn't good enough

i hope that all my friends can live their life to the fullest, and will one day find their true love. don't care of what other people think about u, as long as u're happy with what u're doing now. they hv no right to say meanthings to u n u deserve to live ur life the way u want it to be. :)