stress

right now, at this moment, i can feel my blood pressure is increasing, my heart pumping, and i just can't take it anymore. too much pressure, i unable to handle it myself.
i feel like leaving everything behind, EVERYTHING.
i don't want a new life, as it will be just the same.
i guess, somehow, i might still living in the past, and for a while, i step on to the reality, it has changed. A LOT.
i shut my eyes, and i refuse to accept the reality.
i'm happy with my past, for those i can recall, the happy faces. those HAPPY faces. My happy face.
but now, i'm not that happy anymore.
i can laugh, i can make jokes, but i don't think it matters.